Giant "Ham" terrorizes local schoolchildren - parents are concerned.

Authorities apprehending a protester, campaigning for the "Ham" to be left alone

Recently, in a small town outside of Kansas City has recently been plagued by a malicious ham that has been prowling the area. Several small children have been reported to be missing, with some even found partially eaten. This creature is in a rounded bottle-like shape, bearing the word "Ham" across its midsection. Locals have been told to stay indoors at night time, and not travel alone if night walking is necessary. The "Ham" has been reported as moving very fast, and is quite agile. These events have unfolded over a series of weeks, so eyewitnesses are plentiful. Even with all of the information present, authorities have not been able to track down the mysterious "Ham". Local radio operators have been placed on high alert and are broadcasting any news or information regarding the "Ham". The general public has been told to call 9-1-1 or any local emergency number if they have have information on the "Ham"; and they will receive a cash reward (of 10,000 USD) if they give any information or services that lead to the "Ham"'s capture. Watch our site and subscribe to our newsletter for any updates regarding the "Ham" and any of the other stories we are currently covering.